American Idol Recap

American Idol - Inspirational week... Inspire this...
The crowd is thinning out and my ammunition drained. AIDS girl and gigolo boy are gone. They will be missed... Anyways thank you for joining me on my half ass attempt of covering American Idol. This will be a huge sensation and you can say you were there when it started. I'll admit that this synopsis isn't as great as my other impromptu rants. I am experience writing fright or something.

Micheal
What is up with the scarf, i feel like I'm looking at my grandmas head scarf. I think he might own the biggest collection of vest. Is there a barn in L.A. that had bargain vests for sale. My god he has the largest collection of vests. It looks like he went to town and cashed in on the buy one vest please take the rest sale. Thank you Randy for not contributing again...

We have a SINBAD sighting!!!! What deep dark hole did he crawl up from? Ah man I can't hate on SINBAD. He is one of the greatest comedians of my time. What an artist, what an entrepreneur, words can't describe the impact he's had on my life. He's a magician with words, carefully crafted to illicit uncontrolled laughter. He is an American Icon.

Who's Seyesha?
Thank you for cliche central. God damn, when did Macy Gray join American Idol. She doesn't annoy me but I'm just kinda bored listening to her. At the very least she doesn't have the Madonna Fantasia is her idol. Good god hide the children and bad hair cuts.

Jason
I knew this song was coming. Whatever he is on I want some. It looked like everyone was captivated by the song. He should sing this song every week somehow. We had a virus take over our DVR so I couldn't see the last couple seconds of the song.

Cristy
What the heck is she giving up? I don't understand what difficulties all these people have. Life is full of them, we don't need to hear your attempt at sob story. We have our own crap to deal with. She is so terrible. That stupid country twang sound she makes is a sign that you cannot sing. Then she looks like either she has hemorrhoids or can finally hear her own voice. She is my dark horse pick to get kicked out this week. Wardrobe change please. That performance was just crap and the judges in their infinite wisdom liked it. She still gets kicked out this week.

So you think you can dance is coming, don't miss it.

David
Well he got a bit full of himself this week. His voice doesn't belong in that pitch neither does the jacket he stole from Prince. So, you want me to "give back" huh? You are a major tool. You're welcome.

Carly
I love when people turn their accents on and off. This girl is actually a pretty girl but then she does that high voice pitch that could wake dead relatives and I see those rabbit teeth. Queue the hair falling out prematurely. She's in trouble this week. At least she has her cd sales to fall back on.

David
Is Jason sharing his "stuff" with David or what? One thing I can't stand is guys sitting in the front row and clapping like a little girl for another guy. Common man, I'm pulling your man card. That was a good performance, it was vintage David.

Way to go Ryan. Embarrassing a poor security guard. Thank you for reminding everyone why your such a douche bag.

Brook
What is this girl's deal? Does she like looking homely and old. She needs someone, anyone to buy her some new clothes. This song is what you wake up having nightmares about. Her Mu mu has to go. Simon said it best. That song or her personality is like a walk in the park... boring and uneventful.

Overall this was a pretty boring week. Lets pray that American Idol doesn't keep jumping the shark every week. This show is getting more and more ridiculous.